as you all may know, Ethan is a well known name in the vortex community.  he produces t-shirts for the masses and top quality mirror blank off plates.  swarms of posters follow him around the forums looking to feed off of his cleverness.  lets not forget his contribution to wheels and offsets.  without him people would be driving around with their thumbs up their asses. some may say his run with fame is nearing the end but i believe he will have a second cumming.  he is planning to reinvent himself and offer a new line of products.  the first of which is a design based off of something he requires for his own use:  it is a penis blank off panel.  now hold on, dont get too excited yet!  its still in its early test phase and requires the user to not have a penis.    ledjetta is somewhat of a legend and god only know’s i start to feel sad when i dont see his car posted on a daily basis.     

So I guess this is what passes for ingenuity in the scene now-a-days. I thought for sure we’d see people doing something useful, but instead of actually working an making something that looks good. We have more folsk trying to garner a name for themselves by painting the roof pink. I think Jaron is going to have to start slanging drugs if the black roof is no longer cool. I do have a serious question though? And that questions is: What in the fuck were you thinking? Are you a super huge fan of the Pink Panther? I imagine that is the same type of unoriginal name that the eurotuner douchebags will flop onto the cover of their pamphlet of shit.

I would love to get into the reasons why I hate this car so much, but the list is so long that I may wear off the ends of my fingers trying to type it all out. I guess if you’re really lucky I’ll get drunk off my ass on Friday and blog some more. This car does hit almost every one of the show car checklists and it is certainly minimalistic enough that the owner can actually lie to everyone and say he did it for himself. It seems that is the plausible deniablity racket that most mag whores use to stave off all the shitbags like me who will rail on the car, knowing full well that it was built to get attention and nothing else. Why else would you paint your roof pink? What about the color pink says “car enthusiast”. The last time I saw a pink car I was at a Hot Import Night’s show trying to figure out how many extacy pills it takes to paint a car  purple with a pink pearl. I never did come to a conclusion on the actual doseage it takes.  Maybe I’ll write Nash an email, because he clearly knows how to roll.

(6:25 AM 2-21-2008) Outlaw: Dude you must have nothing to do with your time.
Dont start talking shit about GS just because you hanging out with the faggs from cleaned.
Alot of them dude going to get fucked up when show season start dont dont get caught in the middle.
Its all im telling you.

(8:48 AM 2-21-2008) Outlaw: I know you got my PM.
If I find out that you CJ1979 Im going to knock your teeth out.
I swear on everything I own.
fucking with the wrong one .

MC Outlaw in the House aka The Gay Prince of German Squad

Lets take a peak at some newish pictures from a circle jerk in sunny Florida. This owner of this fine automobile gets props for being low, I cant knock that. However the clusterfuck that is his trunk makes my head spin. I honestly believe that he found a check list of “cool” mods from the aircooled, rat rod (a term a fucking hate), and DIY crowds, and selected everything.

At a glance its like “Hey nice hardwood floor, vintage luggage and plaid”. Upon further inspection its more like “Hey, nice hardwood floor, velvet lined “vintage” luggagae, primered airtank w/bad pinstriping, and oh wait is that a mooneyes sticker and brass knuckles???

Im pretty sure that the dudes at his local Subway hate it when he orders a sub.

Elitist Pricks Forums are up now… http://www.elitistpricks.com/forums/

not to mention that he is the real life version of side show bob from the Simpsons. Take this as your warning to not do business with this guy. While his stories are believable at first they continue to become transparent/far fetched as more and more time passes and you are still waiting for your product that you PAID him for. He’ll tell you about his family issues, about how he shipped it already, about how it’s not him it’s his suppliers… Well it’s all a bunch of mindless bullshit until (IF) the parts ever show up years later. Only time will tell. If you want to test your luck go ahead and give it a try otherwise give your hard earned money to someone who actually can deliver the products they sell.

 While we are on the topic…

How do you go from this

To this????? over the course of 6 years (2002-2008).

Back in the day when I was young but not a kid anymore I was in woodshop class and this kid watched me build wooden boats for a semester.  The next semester started and I still had woodshop class on my scedule and the same kid was in my class again and he decided to build wooden boats after watching me do it last sememster, Im guessing he though my idea was cool so he ran with it.  I had become disinterested in wooden boats because I now posessed a fleet of them and I decided to make a nice table for my mother and I would give it to her upon completion at christmas.  Now I know what you are thinking, a young man that builds family heirlooms and wooden boats doesnt sound dangerous right?  Wrong.  One day I went to that woodshop class and I was particularly pissed off and I decided to take it out on the kid that copied me in the wooden boat building department.  I made a smart comment to him about how he was unoriginal, and of course he piped back with shut up and go build your gay ass table.  That comment lit the fuse so I grabbed this kid by his shirt and carried him over to the belt/disc combo sander in the corner of the shop, flipped the swith and turned it on and I took his right hand and rammed his index finger into the abrasive material until he had about a quarter inch less right index finger than he was born with.  I did a little time in the principals office for that one and I got suspended for a week and my folks made me pull alot of weeds in the yard as punishment.  All in all though I can look back at it years later and I’d say it was completely worth it.  Would I do it again given the chance?  Try me.

yo yo yo just wanted to send this one out to my boy Paul from NJ.  Apparently dignity is optional in his state.

Dear Sinuses,

I wonder what I did to make you hate me so much? I’ve always been there for you. I was there for you and the nose when you were choked full of boogers. I remember as a kid when we’d play outside and the flowers were blooming and you’d make my face get all itchy and then sneeze. Sometimes you’d make my face itchy and tingly and then not sneeze. I never hated on you for that, so why have you now forsaken me with this runny green mess. I bet it was sexy when I was talking to that girl last weekend and you let just a little bit of your own fluid drain down my nasal cavity and out my nose. Without warning you did this.

Remember when I used to share my cocaine with you? Remember that, remember how we’d party together until the wee hours of the night. Even the next morning when you’d make the inside of my nose resemble something that would be on a dinosaurs back, even then I still didnt hate you.

So I don’t get where you came off with this attitude, Hell you’ve even turned my ear drums and now lungs against me. Why? I know I keep asking this, but I don’t understand. The Ohio days we had together, the parties, the women. you were there for me when I first learned frontside flips in the cold. You didnt run then, so why now 10 years later do you treat me with such disrespect? Have we not had a great life together? Is this how you want our friendship to end?  Does causing my throat, nose and lungs grief make you feel better about yourself?

I hope your happy with yourself sinus cavity, but I don’t want to see you anymore. I’d appreciate if you could take you and all your guests and go somewhere else. I’m not telling you to go because I’m mad, Im telling you to go because I love you and cant stand to see you in pain. I only want what’s best for you.

Mortally yours,

forrest

All you fake ass, pretending motherfuckers need to stop following in my footsteps.

Being a wise ass, fucking jerkoff, only makes you look like a dingus to me. It’s not flattering.

Fuck, I don’t even like cars… and I’m still a thousand times better than you. I live in fucking squalor and I still get less homeless girls than you. I have a zombie cat that will eat your gay fucking tattoos for breakfast. My roomate would fucking win every one of your frat boy beer pong games. Not to mention he’ll give your fucking jacked tooth girlfriend truck stop herpes. I can’t even sit on my own toilet without pouring bleach on that shit, and my rusty ass vw still kills that shit every time I drive four miles to work.

Fucking Florida niggs with their fancy sunshine. (not including mike)

Fucking Canada niggs with their donairs and shit.

Fucking New Jersey. All you fools can eat shit. Fuck you too baby Huey.

Fucking Cali niggs. Lemme give a shout to fucking Hollywood and shit. Go fuck yourselves.

Fuck all you guys SRSLY.

Oh yeah, and fuck Dan Lutz.

Peace,

Nelson.

Sometimes when im sititng at home alone, in my dad’s livingroom I think. Where did a 30 something tech genius go wrong. Then I get back to power burn-outs.

p.s. Corey you are my hero.

fuck you, and jackman no one outside of the starwars universe gives a fuck about what nerd tech nonsense you post about.

fuck all ya’ll niggas

It never ceases to amaze me at the mentality of some british VW fans. Seriously is one upping the next guy that big of a deal?? Just because its different doesnt make it right. Go fucking kill yourself.

Ike Turner overdosed on cocaine
US soul legend Ike Turner, who died last month at the age of 76, was killed by a cocaine overdose, Californian coroners have established.

No fucking shit. How about you tell us somethings that’s a actual surprise like, war’s over we won. Seriously, I thought he’d been dead for a longtime. I mean If he were around he woulda slapped the shit outta Tina for making Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome or any of the shit she did since Ike had knocked her ass around.

bitch you betta be shuttin the fuck up, Imma close the pimphand and smack you all up in the fuckin lips. trouf.

Fucking Rick James was a transvestite compared to this dude.

My local bar has this tomorrow night :

On their page they list themselves as Punk Rock/ Alternative.

Punk is not about facial hair, affliction t-shirts and True Religion jeans. Alternative wasnt about lifting weights and being tough(looking). An alternative to what chicago’s early Buffalo Tom, Boise’s Built To Spill, Olympia’s entire Kill Rocks Stars label? Is this the reason great bands like Seaweed faded out? We lost Pavement, Rocket From the Crypt and Archers of Loaf so guy’s like this could cut their hair off, keep their wide guitar god stances and oil themselves up and sing to god like he gives a fuck about what sophomoric  girls locker room poetry these idiots write.

What the fuck makes these jock assholes think the horribly beat shit their playing has any connection with punk as music or a social movement. I mean seriously these were the dudes fingerbangin the head cheerleader in the gym. O.k. Lots be honest, these cumbags were fingering eachother. Why in the fuck does everyone gotta label themselves as the cool new movement. Why can’t you fucking twats label your selves ar grunge still. Your music sucked than and it still sucks. Since when was thermals, cargo shorts and a long sleeve flannel ever cool. What were you spelunking a frozen cave with a spacer heater? This is the kind of music unfrozen cavemen would listen to ask the sat around the fire and all removed dirt from their foreskins.

gimme a fucking break guys, You weren’t cool the first time when you called yourselves Mother Love Bone, you certainly weren’t cool as Creed and you for fuck definitely are not cool as TheDeahHeartSaints. Maybe thedeadheartshitstaints.

Along with fucking New Hampshire you fucking jock douchebags get a gigantic middle finger from the bottom of my little black heart.

speaking of not punk. fuck this boy band cockduster too.

New Hampshire. More specifically daves1.8taudi@hot.com

I’m glad you’ll do what you think needs to be done for reflex tuning. However emailing me at work and trying to get me in trouble for something that has nothing to do what-so-ever with work is fucking weak you pussy fuck. If you want why not contact me directly if you have something to say, instead of swinging off Doug’s balls. It’s also cool to see that you deleted the email address after sending the email. Real manly move.

You obviously don’t have the slightest clue what you’re into, your emailing my office about this shit. What a fucking clownshoe’s maneuver, you want to say something to me why don’t you answer my PM with your phone number we can gladly discuss this if you want.

In closing fuck you, you cunt.

thats right…  they are usually 3 piece and come from a magical land of enchantment!  Make sure you try real hard to get the offsets right because a nation of idiots might be watching and you have to make sure you impress them with your mathematical prowess!

Does the world really need another copy of a copy of a copy? This is what the 6th version of this wheel to be released over as many years?? Im not convinced that this is much better than marketing replicas.

a fucking game, not a accessory pattern for every like nick knack and bullshit item on your car ya fucking bobblehead. Just because you can, doesnt mean you should. More people need to learn that.

one day i hope to be such a bad mofo that fools speak up for me so i dont have to. i mean, having some douchbag respond for me and say what i would have said would be the bees knees! lets face it, im not that tough…but if i were to have some followers speaking up for me one might get the idea that i infact am one tough mofo! now, all i gotta figure out is how to become such a bad ass with followers and shit. i guess if i were to impress some fools with my supercool car with black centered wheels with gold bolts and falken tires i might aquire some followers. but what else could i do? i really want to be the leader of some fag klan!