features like-

>rare as a motherfucker

>value pricing

>hecho en nueva chinito

>you may actually recieve a return email or PM from an EP representative.

>our company 800 number is available as always , just click Ivans sig ?;

>they sent us a sample set to test and now we are selling them because the rent is due

>local tire store tires also available

>our cousin has them in stock

>this is one long ad

*financing available 

>we also have this pic from our supplier of a staggered setup in 16×8 et34 all around

>we are offering a 20 dollar rebate If you pre-order

>return this email to Chris_Same@EPTEKNIK.NL

>free street credit

>ATM compatible

>or anything else you need

>maybe even a six-pack of mountain dew code red

sent from my iPhone

This past weekend we were approached by a friend who has a cousin who has a friend with a water-jet cutting machine. Like most people, this bastard was poor and was looking for a few more side jobs to drum up some extra cash for his heroin addiction. We dug the idea of making up some cheap ass bullshit items that other poor bastards could purchase instead of actually buying stuff that was worth a fuck. That being said, we stood up and came down with a great new slogan aimed at all the totally radical dudes in the automotive industry. What is it you ask? Well, it’s simple, in our never ending quest to be all that we can be, we decided on something simple that meant a lot to a lot of people, B rad. After all who doesn’t wanna B rad? We know we do and we suspect you do too!

Here’s our current list of Elitist Prick key chains:

Positive Slogans Inspired by famous intraweb personalities, these silhouettes are simple reminders of who you’d really rather be. Water-jet cut from 2mm-thick 6061 aluminum, these chains are much more hardcore than they look. ONLY $15.52 each, including shipping to anywhere in North America. Shipping to other parts of the world is available and hella spensive - please check for rates. As pictured here, each tag does include a key ring for you to attach your shit to.

We’ll be adding new designs all the time.

*Coming soon: B gnar, B coo, B real, B bad, and more!

Are you color blind? I really do believe you need to check. Take this test and turn that purple car back into a red one.

Can you see the numbers in the circles or are they just big grey blobs?

And then there is Shawn Walsh. The Shawn Walsh.

If that busy-as-hell background wasn’t distracting enough, the default photoshop plastic glow and drop shadowed watermark will take your eye from the reverse rake.

I have been working for a few minutes to come up with a universal system to determine which members of 8380 have been taking the cock and which members have been sucking the cock.  The Anal Depth Lie Detector will settle these disputes without a hint of bias, all for free.  Consider it a public service.

Here is how it works:

Shove the lie detector inside of either the anus or mouth of any 8380 member and document your findings (I am not quite sure how you plan to actually get that close to one of the 8380 members but creativity is always a plus, just have fun with it i guess then get the fuck out of there)

But why only a twelve inch ruler? Well, any more than that would require a second ruler and nobody is dumb enough to buy 2 of these things.  The Anal Depth Lie Detector is just a cheap ass wooden ruler that cost less than a quarter to make.

Did someone say Booth?  Yes these could be booth worthy at a watercooled event but rest assured they are no penis blank off plate.

Lucks.

I’ll post more when I see em. If I see em.

thanks for the face and thanks for being our top visitor IP over the past few months.

woo!

Thats right, New Jerseys white trash tow truck driving attention whore is a real life Kip Dynamite.   In the movie Kip trained to be a cage fighter but was actually a big pussy, P R H fills the movie characters shoes perfectly with his claims of being into kickboxing and chatting online with hot babes (not really hot babes, but other losers who hang out on vwvortex) all day.  

We’ll end this with the lyrics to Kip’s (P R H’s) song…

Why do you love me? Why do you need me? Always and forever… We met in a chatroom, now our love can fully bloom… Sure the world wide web is great, but you, you make me salivate… I love technology, but not as much as you, you see… But I STILL love technology… Always and forever. Our love is like a flock of doves, flying up to heaven above… always and forever, always and forever… Why do you need me? Why do you love me? Always and forever… 
 

some real motherfuckin wankstaz…